Lou Auborn

My husband called me today from Florida where he is for the week for some very sad circumstances. His step father passed away this past weekend. My mother in law obviously is heartbroken and so is everyone else including myself. I stayed behind because it was the smart thing to do not only for the sake of my sanity but also for our financial well being.
We will be driving from Vegas to the Orlando Florida area in April. A two day drive with a three year old. Great.
He was a great man and he is already missed.

Lou Auborn 

4.27.1950 - 2.9.2014

I have dealt with far to much death in my life. By the time I was in high school I had been to at least one funeral a year, most of the time it was at least two. Lou is going to be cremated, and his ashes will be sealed inside of one of his favorite guitars. He is with our Heavenly Father right now playing in the Lord's band. I never got to know him as well as I should have. I knew he was a great father to my sister in law, and a very stern step father to my husband. He and my mother in law Tammy adopted four children. Three of which have mental disabilities and the oldest of the four that has made my husband so very very very VERY proud to call him his little brother.

My mil (mother in law) told my husband to tell me that anytime he spoke about me he called me his daughter. For me that meant the world that this man who I knew so little about loved me like his own, that just makes me so happy yet it makes me weep knowing that I will never get to talk to him and have a real conversation with him about his life.

My greatest fear is losing someone who has so much confidence in me and not knowing their story and them only knowing mine. 

Guess what? This has happened so many times in my life and I STILL have yet to learn! It's NOT about me, it's about those around me and how they have impacted MY life and made ME a better person.

I do not do good with emotion. I crumble, I try to retreat and hold it in and it does not work for me one bit. Especially when that emotion is so strong. So overwhelming. I just go numb.

I need answers when someone passes. Everything possible to understand what has actually happened. To grasp what has occurred and what the next step is. That's my closure after a good ugly cry THAT is how I heal.

Death sucks for those of us left here on earth. We are left to suffer and wish that those whom have left this earth were still here. We morn in different ways, throwing away the deceased's belongings, hoarding their belongings, staying in bed for days, going on vacation, selling the house, etc.

We all morn in some way shape or form. The numbness eventually goes away but our memories of them, their voice, their smell, a piece of clothing that was tucked away that pops up when you are cleaning. A picture, a letter, anything can trigger us to return to that place again.

My (step) father (in law), is in heaven. No doubt in my mind. He turned his life around and made it the way it should be. They are having a celebration of his life at the church that he helped set up a few years back. A celebration! He's in heaven dancing and playing his guitar! Enjoying eternity with our Father in heaven! It really is a celebration isn't it?

The Christian radio station out here called S.O.S Radio, which I'm pretty sure is everywhere, had a speaker whom came on and said this;

"This world is the only heaven that a non-believer will ever experience, and the only hell that a believer will endure."

That makes me so sad. When I tell someone about Jesus and they turn their cheek, it hurts me knowing that no matter how good they are, no matter how great of a friend they are, I will never see them in heaven. It hurts me. I just want all of my friends (and family) to find Christ and devote their lives to him.

Lou did that. He's up there right now and loving every moment of it.

Can't wait to see you again Lou! Say hi to my Nanna, Poppa, and all the rest of my family up there!