Growing Pains

My little man is growing up. The days of needing mommy to fall asleep every night are slowly fading away. The need to rock and sing all night to sooth him are slowly dwindling :o(

I miss my little gummy bear being tiny and helpless. Playing with him on the floor, him falling asleep in my arms while he nursed. His gummy smiles when I would go into his room first thing when he woke up.

Life seemed so hard then.

First time mom with my husband as my only support system. Baby blues that wouldn't quit. A new place, a new world.

Now I look back and wish I could turn back time, even though I would do it all the same.

I spent every possible moment with him, breathed in his sweet smell, kissed him as much as he would take, took photos like crazy to document his short life so far, took videos of his sounds and his sweet voice, and most of all I LOVED ON HIM!

I know I have talked about how hard it has been not to have a mother in my life. And at times it really has been.

Now though.       

I'm glad I didn't. I've been able to use my motherly intuition to make up my mind.

Not because of anything my mother told me to do.

I have a blank slate for the most part. I took ideas from my close friends parents on how they where raised. Tips from family I trusted such as my late grandmother who raised me when I was little, my fathers mother whom also has had a hand in raising me, my aunts, and my mother in law. My father whom raised me primarily by himself has given me great tips even though he hasn't realized it.

As Jeremiah gets older I want him to know as much about his parents as he can. How we grew up, what are greatest successes have been and all about our faith as a Christ following and loving couple.

I want him to know the love of our Lord, to have morals so deep and grounded that the Lord will fully bless him and his future.

I want him to know that a materialistic life is not a life but is just another life in a greedy world.

I want the best for my son but first I have to come to terms with his growing up, his independence, the fact that he's not a baby anymore.

So hard.

Christmas is Sunday! We found Jeremiah a great bible stories book. I'm so happy that we finally got one! Tomorrow we are going out, I think we will stop by lakeshore learning and the Christian book store. I really want to get him the little people nativity set! So cute!

Well to anyone who actually reads!

Merry Christmas!

May the Lord bless you and keep you! And have him be the reason for the season!

God bless!

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