3 years!!

My goodness!! 

My gummy bear was born three years ago today!! Okay so more like tonight at 9:47pm but still, I am in awe. 

These last three years have been an adventure that's for sure.

I can't wait to see what the coming years with our little bug will be like :)

Today/yesterday, I was sick. I still am and I should be sleeping but I have massive amounts of writing to finish and I haven't really done much of it yet. I will get there. 

I have just been so emotional about Jerm's birthday that I haven't been able to concentrate. 

My hubby was unable to get the day off so instead, if it's nice enough, we will be walking down to the park to play or maybe go to the museum. 

{I wonder if they do something for a child's birthday???}

After hubbsey gets home we are going straight to dinner at APPLEBEE'S, only because that is Jerm's fave restaurant.

{My 2… 3 year old is spoiled}

After that we are going to the toy store to pick up his new bike and helmet. 

It was a toss up between a bike and one of those cars that they can ride around in but we are getting the car for Christmas instead. At least that way he will have some time with the bike till it gets super cold!

Brrrrrrrrrr….

It's already chilly here :(

So wanna know something gross?? We completely forgot about our HVAC vent filter and hadn't changed it in over 5 months. It was SO gross. But now our house smells fresh and clean again! Guess who won't forget to change it next time? Oh that's right me! I wrote it Everywhere!! 

My phone, all three calendars and even on our reminder boards! 

I really want to start vlogging. My husband thinks it's stupid but honestly, I think it's awesome! Document your life every day and try to put info out there to help others! 

What do you think? Do you think our family would be interesting enough to vlog about? 

What about when we decide to add another little one to our family? 

That should be happening soon, as long as I get my body a bit healthier. 

Gotta get back into shape. I wonder if I documented my workout progress that I would actually do it daily, rather than just saying I would? 

Might as well find out huh? Guess I need to go and buy a new sim card and batteries tomorrow then :)

Laters Y'all!!

What if You where to leave this world "early"?

As a believer in Christ, I don't think we die early or late or whatever. We die when our Lord says it's time. 

I have lost so many family members while growing up and even as an adult. My heart hurt if the family member hadn't given their life over to Christ. The thought that they most likely wouldn't be in heaven when I left this earth made me sad. It hurt my heart. 

With that said, the family that passed away who I knew where believers and repented their sins, I know I will see them in heaven one day. 

But when will that be?

As a young child I always felt as though I would leave this earth early. I have never been scared of this, not for me anyways, but for my family yes. 

I am now a wife and a mother. The thought of me leaving this earth right now scares me so badly. The thought that my husband would be left here to take care of our son and for our son to not have his mommy scares me so much. 

I know it's different but I didn't have my mother when I was growing up, not because she had died but because she was not a good person and still to this day she is not a good person. 

I worry about my husband being overwhelmed, of not having enough to move forward for our son by himself. 

I worry that he wouldn't remarry, which I honestly would want him to do if he felt that he was ready or able. 

I worry about our son, and what would happen to him. 

Would how I die determine how he feels about me, his father or himself? 

Would he reject Our Lord? 

I pray that never happens. 

My perspective of death as a whole changed completely once I got married.

Then when we had our child it was like a rug was pulled out from underneath me. 

My life changed so much and not until now have I actually really thought of the fact that I could really die 'early' or young. 

I'm blaming Pandora for playing some really sad songs but in reality, this is a big deal. 

I have been crying for the last twenty or so minutes thinking of the possibility that I could die any day. 

What have I accomplished? 

What will my child think of me when he's older?

Who will help my husband? 

Who will help my child? 

I'm officially scared of what will happen to them if I pass away. 

Lord, I pray that you protect my family and myself from death but if it is our time, then I ask you to protect those who are left behind. Keep them safe and remind them of those lost. 

In your holy name,

Amen

This life isn't guaranteed. This next breath of air, the next beat of your heart or the blink of your eyes.
Life everyday to the fullest and thank our Creator everyday for his amazing accomplishments.