What the heck? Why am I so gloomy?

So gloomy lately!

I have had some people who have said they were my "friends" block, delete, and talk about me behind their backs.
It's quite upsetting to have this happen. I don't think I'm a bad person, I actually have been told that I am very kind, and loving but when it comes to military spouses... Yikes!
I don't know what I do but man, I drop them quick!

Honestly, I'm glad that the one person who 'dropped' me actually did that. She had been talking about her friends behind their backs to me the last time we hung out, then the next day she was having dinner with them. Warning sign much?

The others, I could care less. I don't need drama in my life. I have enough in our house with our new baby blue/gold macaw (I haven't been on in a while huh?), our two dogs, my husband and our son. That's enough to handle along with school, and the search for a job that will pay enough to be worth my time.

So I don't make friends or keep them easily. It sucks. I agree with my husband when he says that we just need to get out of the military and plant ourselves someplace and go from there. We aren't military material. I thought I would be until I moved to DC and then out here to Vegas.
This crap is hard!!! The ladies I befriended in DC made it look so darn easy!

If you really want to make friends with military spouses, hang out on base or live there. But for me, I don't like base, I avoid it at all costs and I don't really like military spouses because they tend to be flakey. Especially if they live on base. Don't get me wrong, I have met a couple ladies who are so kind and they live on base but they moved. (See my problem here???)

My gosh.

So I was sitting in my living room the other day, folding laundry and I was thinking of how cool it would be to start a YouTube channel. Our life is pretty interesting even on a mundane day like Monday. Let's see today (as in yesterday, aka Monday) I had to hand feed the bird, wash the puppy who decided that tipping over the bird formula and then rolling in said formula would be a great idea, I cleaned up said formula and made more while my three year old was yelling that he had to go to the bathroom while standing right. outside. the. door. of said bathroom.

Then our oldest dog was crying because she couldn't get her bone out from underneath the couch, my husband called to tell me that he forgot something but he didn't know what it was so to be prepared to look for unknown item, the garden/clean up guys came to 'garden' our non-exsistant back yard which btw will be covered in rocks after this weekend (yay for the landlord finally listening).

We also had someone else's package delivered to us, my son asked 1000000000000000000 questions in 2 seconds and expected proper answers to every. single. question.

And I wrote a 10 page paper in 4 hours!

Oh heck yes!

Happy Monday everyone!!

PS... I started doing core exercises again.
PSS. My belly looks like it has blown up thanks to said exercises :(

Traditional College? Say what?!?!?

Smile! I'm not in "traditional" college and I LOVE it!!

I have just realized that I probably would have NEVER survived traditional college. 

As I'm typing this, I sit in my super plush yet firm queen sized bed (it's easier to move with the military), with all of my blankets around me, my amazing pup Maggie-May at my feet, my fan blowing perfectly in my direction and my skeet shooting ear protection on. 

I am comfortable and I can't hear anything going on downstairs, which is why I keep my phone on vibrate next to my leg. 

I totally would NOT have been happy going away to college and staying in a dorm for even a year!

Even in high school I had my room perfect, everything in it's place and the ONLY way I could study is if it was completely silent. 

Thankfully in school you take all of your tests in a room with people who AREN'T talking but none the less.

I recently spoke to a younger family member on the phone while she was in her dorm studying. We talked for about an hour and a half and it was a little after supper time. She had grabbed food from the cafeteria and went back to her dorm to study. 

As we spoke it was clear as to why she studied during peak eating hours. 

It was SOOOO LOUD!

Her dorm was considered to be "quiet" and because she didn't partake in drinking she rarely did anything during the school week. 

I felt so bad for her. 

She told me this; "If I had known how loud and obnoxious it was going to be, I wouldn't have chose dorm life. I would have gotten a place off campus and would have saved so much money in the long run." 

Her and her roommate are two peas in a pod so they have signed up for off campus apartments for the  coming year and may actually be able to move in spring semester. They are both ready to go and have their parents ready to drive over with furniture and household goods for them. 

College is scary enough. Add in loud nights were you can't study, and small dorm rooms it's a combination for a bad year. 

My family member told me that her roommate and her had already purchased fabric on sale to make curtains, pillows and table coverings. 

I think I would have been in the same situation as her if I had gone to a "traditional" college. 

Lucky for her, her "off campus" housing is closer to the cafeteria than her dorm, which means she's going to keep her meal plan and just stock up on food when she goes! How awesome is that??

Love my gun range earmuffs :)

3 years!!

My goodness!! 

My gummy bear was born three years ago today!! Okay so more like tonight at 9:47pm but still, I am in awe. 

These last three years have been an adventure that's for sure.

I can't wait to see what the coming years with our little bug will be like :)

Today/yesterday, I was sick. I still am and I should be sleeping but I have massive amounts of writing to finish and I haven't really done much of it yet. I will get there. 

I have just been so emotional about Jerm's birthday that I haven't been able to concentrate. 

My hubby was unable to get the day off so instead, if it's nice enough, we will be walking down to the park to play or maybe go to the museum. 

{I wonder if they do something for a child's birthday???}

After hubbsey gets home we are going straight to dinner at APPLEBEE'S, only because that is Jerm's fave restaurant.

{My 2… 3 year old is spoiled}

After that we are going to the toy store to pick up his new bike and helmet. 

It was a toss up between a bike and one of those cars that they can ride around in but we are getting the car for Christmas instead. At least that way he will have some time with the bike till it gets super cold!

Brrrrrrrrrr….

It's already chilly here :(

So wanna know something gross?? We completely forgot about our HVAC vent filter and hadn't changed it in over 5 months. It was SO gross. But now our house smells fresh and clean again! Guess who won't forget to change it next time? Oh that's right me! I wrote it Everywhere!! 

My phone, all three calendars and even on our reminder boards! 

I really want to start vlogging. My husband thinks it's stupid but honestly, I think it's awesome! Document your life every day and try to put info out there to help others! 

What do you think? Do you think our family would be interesting enough to vlog about? 

What about when we decide to add another little one to our family? 

That should be happening soon, as long as I get my body a bit healthier. 

Gotta get back into shape. I wonder if I documented my workout progress that I would actually do it daily, rather than just saying I would? 

Might as well find out huh? Guess I need to go and buy a new sim card and batteries tomorrow then :)

Laters Y'all!!

Was I a bigger Witch with a B in high school than I thought??

I'm starting to think so!
So I deleted a ton of people off of every social networking site I had my name plastered across about a year after I got married. I was one of the few from my graduating class who got married at such a young age -- I was 22. And waited to have kids -- I became pregnant with our gummy bear at 23 had him at 24.
I also didn't attend graduation. I went to summer school to boost my grades up in two classes I seriously almost failed. Worked my butt off and passed with flying colors.

After high school I seriously only talked to a handful of friends but everyone from my graduating class wanted to be friends so I added them and acted like we were "friends". I started being asked to attend parties and go out and "hang" with these people who I pretty much ignored my entire high school "career". Sorry for all of the quotations but honestly if I was talking to you right now, you would understand and hear my quotes while I spoke.
Anyways. We had a graduating class of maybe 250? Not sure, wasn't there and didn't care. I hung out with my friends from another school as much as I could. The school district was the type that the parents all bought their kids new sports cars for their 16th birthday and when I went to visit my friends, there was always a new BMW with a HUGE bow on the top outside of the school.

Man I loved that school and I didn't even attend. My friends did, and my boyfriend at the time did also. The teachers knew me better than my own and I even hung out there to do homework with friends. I hated my school and it was obvious.

Now that we are coming up on our 10 year anniversary for our graduating class I'm kinda nervous. I'm actually freaking out because honestly I don't talk to anyone. Yeah there are a few that I converse with on Facebook every once and a while but we aren't buddy buddy. We don't text, write emails share photos or jokes that is all LONG gone.
I told my husband that I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't invited to my 10 year and he laughed because he doesn't want to go to his.

Anyways back to me being a witch with a b.

I was rude to these people. More like I would ignore them. The last guy I dated from my high school I left him for the other guy at the other school because he wasn't needy. That and the "new" bf didn't go crying to my mother while I was at work. That was just weird. Smh...

So I seriously lit my bridges on fire and made it pretty much impossible to build them back. I have tried to add a few people back but no response. The ones who have added me back have been ones who really only knew me a little bit and are curious where I have been for the last almost 10 years or are too drunk to even care.

Gotta start someplace right?

One reason I don't want to go back is because I'm afraid I haven't done enough. I started writing out everything I've done since then and here is what I have.

Traveled up and down the east coast
Traveled to Germany and Austria
Road trip a couple of times with different groups of friends
Lose those friends because of a older jerk of a guy who was actually less mature than the friends :/
Started college for psychology
Realized that psychology isn't for me because I become too attached to the patient
Started working in Optometry... maybe a good career for me?
Travled to Florida again to meet up with my close friend I had known for 9 years
Travel to DC to visit said close friend
Close friend proposes becoming my hunky fiancé
Marry awesome guy a few months after we start dating
Move to DC with new husband and new dog and try to make sense of this thing called 'marriage'
Land a pretty cool job that I move up in pretty quickly
We're PREGNANT!!!
Get news we are moving across the country to Sin City.... yay?
Have a 10.8lb child who is just shy of two feet via c-section-- life threatening stuff happens
Move to Vegas a month after baby is born
Become a stay at home mommy
Finally start back to school after all of these years out of school and feel lost, fulfilled and happy.
I want to be a doctor.

Looking at that list it doesn't look good enough to me.
I always dream of going to that reunion saying hi and then saying something profound, wearing some overly priced pair of heals and some stunning dress with my hair put up perfect. Then walking out with my husband's arm around my waist off to our rental for the weekend with our kids sleeping soundly and our nanny out on the porch listening to the sound of the summer night.

Yeah that's not reality. Not right now. Maybe in a few years but not right now. Maybe just in time for the reunion but why? Why do I need to have such a vivid picture to make myself feel better about going to this reunion? I had to look back at my good old Xanga!! Oh you know what it is! It's the thing before myspace. The thing that you had to PAY to upload photos. Yup that thing. Brings you back to the aol dial up era huh?  Crazy bull crap there.

That thing was FULL of stuff. I used that thing as a diary. Unpublished posts seriously made me cry and remember what I went through during that time. It wasn't that everyone was mean, or said crap about me. It was that no one said anything. I went out with a football player and honestly that gave me popularity. One of the other guys on the team seemed to like me also. And it went on from there. I was the good girl who didn't get into trouble but liked to go out with friends and have fun. I went to church EVERY Sunday and sang on stage.

What did I do? I started getting deeper. I went through an extreme depression after my grandfather passed away. Heartbreaking agonizing pain. I blocked everyone out my senior year. That's when it happened. I went to dances, I attended all the school functions but just to keep my head above water. I wanted nothing to do with the people in that school because I felt alone. I was hurting and no one knew nor cared and how could they? They didn't know me. I expected them to KNOW the pain I was in. I was naive. Now I know the real reason that people from my school won't add or connect with me. It's all because I refused to connect with them. I have nothing to do with any of the people from the other school so I'm like a floating feather, praying that I will found solid ground to lay upon.

During my depression I became crazy. I remember for my graduation party I went out drinking at a friend from another school's house of course. Big bon fire and lots of good beer that his father made in the basement. I knew those people. They were my friends. People I could count on yet they were so far away. I wouldn't give up those days for the world yet I wouldn't relive them because it was such a dark time in my life.

Now, I look at my husband, and my son and of course our pup and I am blessed. Even if I am invited to my class reunion and really don't have much to say and I'm not as gorgeous as I want to be and I don't have a nanny and a rental on the lake... I'm happy with my life, right now, in this exact moment and every moment after. I am happy. Don't get me wrong though, I will be walking into that banquet hall or whatever it is wearing some fabulous dress and heals!!
No way in HELL this momma an't going to be looking hot and yummy!

As for me being a witch with a B... I totally was and it was worth it! I don't want to be associated with half of the people I went to school with. The other half, I'll pick n choose from them ;)

Tata for now y'all!

AHHHH I GIVE UP!!!

I feel like that EVERY day during nap time! I had a schedule going really well for a while.

8am -- Jerm wakes up, potty, breakfast, clean up, fold laundry with momma, downstairs to play

10am -- Snack time

11am -- Quiet time and or nap time (Mommy cleans, works on homework, down time)

1pm -- Lunch 

1:30- 4pm -- Arts and crafts, music time, story time, playtime, etc.

3pm -- Snack time

4pm -- Mommy starts dinner; self lead play

5pm -- Daddy comes home from work

6-7pm -- Dinner time

7:30-8:30pm -- Bath time, relax, lots of books and snuggles

9pm -- Bed time

What my schedule has looked like since my father in law came to visit almost a month ago (Not blaming you dad!!). I should also mention my husband was home for two weeks and that really screwed everything up.

7-9am -- Wake up

10am -- Eat after 20 mins of tantruming

11am -- "Lord please let him go down for a NAP!!!"

Noon -- Mommy is falling asleep in the recliner, Jerm refuses to eat lunch

1pm -- "Please eat!" "OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" (no in Jerm)

1:30pm -- 20 mins of ear piercing screams because he is way over tired and refused to eat but is now using it as an excuse to get out of his rom. Finally today as in August 23rd, 2013 I realized that I can give my son a few books and open his curtains (not the blinds) a little and he will read himself to sleep. 

Thank you LORD!!!!

2-4pm wake up from nap demanding to eat and only eat half just in time for daddy to walk in the door to wonder why the house is a mess and why I'm rocking in the corner I am standing like a statue with a frying pan in my hand. 

9-midnight is his bedtime and well that's why I've been so darn tired!

Tonight WILL be a different story. After he wakes from his lovely two hour nap (That I will be cleaning during, except now because I'm writing a lovely blog entry :) 

we will be going to the park in our development and he will be able to climb and jump and slide and we will bring the bat and ball and he can do whatever he darn well pleases while I sit on the side with a homemade frappuccino taking photos and praying for some sort of tan :)

With that said, I am tired. I also need to buy a new blender because using a mini food processor as a blender is so much work!!! I end up having to make 5 separate "mixes" of the delish drink. 

Grocery List for tonight:

Blender

Chocolate Syrup

Carmel Syrup

Ice Cube Trays with lids 

So I am all about trying to save a dollar or two. Although I'm not a big coupon person if I see something in our "garbage" mail I clip it and stick it in my wallet and try to remember to use it. Well, I am challenging myself to start using coupons because a. I want to save more money, and b. I just bought a new printer for a really awesome price if I do say so myself! Too bad I had it for a week before I figured out how in the heck to connect it to WiFi but hey, I'm not perfect nor are you so don't judge.

Anyways, I'm looking for great deals on clothes, organic/natural foods, and so on. If you know me in "real life" you would know that my family is trying to live the most natural life as possible. Some times though we need bleach or more often than not we eat out. 

When we eat out we try to pick the healthiest places to eat or eat the healthiest thing on the menu. So if we are going to In n Out, I will get a burger protein style. Which essentially is everything but the bun and it's all wrapped in lettuce. 

So I'm challenging myself and you out there in blogger land, to find coupons and use them to help you eat healthier! Even if that means eating a burger without a bun ;)

Tata for now!

Careers, jobs and everything in between...

Today I started really getting myself ready to find a real job. A full time, need a nanny, buy another car, pack your lunch kinda job.
I have been a stay at home wife and mom for almost three years. Revamping a resume that hasn't really been touched in over two years was kind of surreal. I ended up looking over bank statements and looking at old photos of happy hour and parties at our old apartment in northern VA.
I loved that life. But I'm not there anymore. I'm not just a wife. Not just an employee anymore. I am a darn awesome wife, mom, student, and completely different than who I was three years ago.
My priorities where about going out to five star restaurants for LUNCH. As though I was going to Panara Bread. I never looked at prices on clothes, or food when grocery shopping. All I knew was if my grocery bill was under $300 at Whole Foods I was golden. I paid way too much for a car that was worth way less because honestly I needed the car at the time and it was "perfect". Darn you interest rates!!!

Now I pinch pennies and spend the minimum amount at the grocery store, I try to use coupons when I can and I make most of every and anything I can. Heck I have been reusing fabric from old clothes to make new things. This owl is one of them :)

So going back to work full time should be different now, right?

I am going to be buying a new-ish vehicle, but this time I know what I want and the rate I am willing to pay.

I will probably still be going out to eat, but I won't be eating five star anymore.

Clothing, this is one area that I really didn't have much control over when working as a manager. The doctor's office I worked for only allowed black, white and grey. You could wear color but only for your accessories. So I'm praying that I find a job that will allow business casual and colors. Please Lord give me a job that let's me look alive and not like I belong in a funeral procession. 

I'm just ready for this next step in my life. Although I really want another baby, and I really want to homeschool my son. Right now I need to get out of the house and make money. So unless some magical job allows me to stay home and make money, I will be getting ready in the morning and dropping off my son at daycare/school. 

I honestly think this wouldn't be such an issue if we lived someplace I considered safe. Even in VA I felt safer than I do here. I honestly believe that Virginia is home to me. I didn't grow up there but I did start my life with my husband there. I made a good amount of friends and our family was close enough to drive back home {Upstate New York} for the weekend on one tank of gas. {Did I say I miss that old car? Well I do.} To visit family in Florida was a 14 hour drive or a 1.5 hour flight that cost less than our cell phone bill every month. Further yes, but honestly a hell of a lot cheaper STILL!!

Days like today make me hate the military with every ounce of my being. 

Till next time,

Tata ya'll!

WHY MACBOOK?!?!? WHY?!?!?!

Dear MacBookPro,

            Let’s make this easy okay? I switched to you because I knew how awesome Apple was compared to Microsoft. The ease of use paired with my iPhone, iPad and in the near future our iPad mini for Jerm, Mac desktop and maybe a Apple TV would be a overall amazing experience.

            No need for expensive antivirus, everything easy to use and that handy little bar at the bottom of my main screen with all of my most used programs only a click away.

            So, now that I have you and I have been using you for school, work and home use. Why do you hate me so? I bought you a beautiful case, I make sure that my toddler keeps his hands off of you and you still hate me.
            Today is a sad day MacBookPro. A very sad day. I had to turn to my handy dandy Microsoft pc so I could play a simple game of Sims (I love building the houses, don’t judge). You wouldn’t load the simple game and now, I cry.

            You also decided to update three times in a row and I couldn't use you for homework! I enjoy reading my very long and drawn out textbook on your dimly lit screen while listening to ocean waves on youtube while in bed snuggled up to my dog and my uber soft blankets. 

            Please redeem yourself from this and make tomorrow's two hour study session go smoothly!

Sincerely,

Your very lost owner

Ps. I totally love my Mac ;)