Perspective Jogging

It's FALL!!! 

Well not so much here but at least it's getting a bit cooler!
It's only 89* here in Las Vegas, NV. Last night when I let the dogs out before bedtime it was nice and cool, I would say low 70s.

I really miss the Autumn weather back east. Can't wait to go home one day and watch the leaves change, go to the balloon festival, make thanksgiving dinner for family, crunch the leaves under my feet, the first frost and snowfall, and Christmas.

This time two years ago we were prepping for Jeremiah to be born. Waiting for the day I would go into labor and the miracle that was growing inside of me to become a real person and not just a black and white ultrasound photo.
I was excited and very reluctant to realize that what I thought would happen and the life that we had would be changing forever. All or most of you know the story of what happened when Jeremiah was born.

But most don't know that up until now I've been dealing with complications that I didn't know where possible. I've been treated for mild depression from dealing with a complicated birth and also a form of PTSD from the birth and emergency c-section, I also have been on many medications for allergies, abdominal issues and even had a few visits to some specialists who still aren't quite sure what is wrong. I haven't been able to do a full work out regiment because of all of this.

But there is great news!

About a month ago I was cleared to do a full workout program! If you knew me when I was in high school or just in New York at all you know that I loved biking, swimming, going to the gym, and even working out while watching tv. I ate pretty healthy and I was slim, healthy and happy!

I have had a sinus infection for the last 2 months and finally got myself to the doctor over the weekend (it's a mom thing), paid my tiny co-pay ($6 for super anti-biotic and a bunch of other stuff) and headed home to get myself better!

Last night after a day of running around all over town with Jeremiah I decided that I was feeling good enough to go and jog (day 3 of 10 of anti-biotic). Like I said I haven't really really worked out since Jeremiah was born. But WOW! I felt so good! I jogged/ fast walk about a mile and every time I slowed down to take a breath I felt my body tell me to go further! It was amazing! Muscle memory is the only way to describe it. I got back into the same pace I was so familiar with and it felt awesome! I'm excited to go again when Brad gets home tonight!

Some news dealing with Jeremiah for all of those who pretty much come on here just for him (it's okay Brad and I still love you! haha)

• Jeremiah is still at 35lbs but getting taller
• He has now successfully been in his toddler bed for almost 3 weeks (first try only lasted a week in August) and once he learns to stay in bed completely we are buying a big boy bed
• He started saying words in short 2-3 word sentences 
• Is advanced in everything but his vocabulary 
• Is able to sort colors and shapes like a pro (when he wants to)
• Has been opening doors for 4 months- not too fond of this but it is an achievement
  Plays really well with other kids and is able to solve conflicts or comes to Brad or myself if there is one
  Is very good at problem solving- I'm not sure when this becomes a big deal but it amazes me that he's able to do this at only 22 months
• Has very few or even NO tantrums and when he does it's because he's tired or hungry
• Loves art, reading, music and playing pretend- We are going to take advantage of the halloween costumes and make a boy version of a dress up chest along with some fun things from our closet! 
• Oh yes... and we are potty training. Not going so well so thinking of putting this off for a bit longer. I'm kinda happy because that means I don't have to try and put him on a public toilet and have to wipe him as he runs through the house with... well you get it.

Favorite foods: 

• Cheese eggs (thanks dad for making these for me when I was little now they are Jeremiah's favorite breakfast!)
• english muffins- with any and all toppings
• grilled cheese
• sweet potatoes
• chicken sandwiches
• my baked "fried" chicken- Brad's also
• yummy fruit bars
• homemade fruit leather (I've got to make more of this!)

It's crazy how big our little gummy bear has become. I'm making a book of photos for each year of our marriage and when I got to the photos of Jeremiah when he was first born, and how little he was, it made me appreciate how much the Lord has given us.
It made me so thankful that I have such a gracious Lord, a husband that even though we have hard times he's always there for us, and a super smart little boy who has changed our lives for the better. We are a family now, before him we were not going anyplace. Now Brad is working on his degree and I'm getting ready to start school! We are debt free besides the cars and even though we really don't like Las Vegas, we are learning that this isn't forever, this isn't where we are going to live after the military and this is just another detour in our lives!

We have a great church, we are very slowly making friends and we in a good place in our lives. Reminding myself that, is hard, especially when Jeremiah decides to poop 4 times before nap time in his diaper, or one of the dogs pees on the floor, or the rental home we are getting a great deal on needs some work; I still need to remember how much we have, and how blessed we really are!

That is such a hard thing to do nowadays too. With credit cards and mortgages, and looking at what others have that you don't. Comparing our lives with the people next door or even people we know who live someplace else is heart wrenching.

I often find myself asking myself how so and so are able to afford what they have. For friends of ours who are military you know about how much they make, it's everywhere on the internet! So I find myself wondering how they have a big beautiful house with, nice furnishings, and so much more. 

But lately the Lord has having me look at what we have. 

We have God the father who is watching over us, who is giving us what we need. We have two cars that both run, a rental home we can do whatever we want to (within reason), we are healthy (or getting better), we have a child who has already surpassed most children his age in pretty much everything, two loving- yet sometimes annoying dogs, we have clothes and food and pretty awesome things in our home, and 

Brad has even found a new hobby that will be MAKING us money!!

Perspective.

That's what life is. Looking inside of yourself and not looking out at others. Looking into the windows of your heart or even your home and seeing what YOU have and stop worrying what the other people have and being thankful for everything that you have in front of you and helping those who are less fortunate, praying for the greater good.

We don't have a ton of money but are richer than people I know that make 100-200k a year! We live on one salary and are doing pretty well!! Living within your means and realizing that being upset about what another may have that you don't isn't going to get you anyplace. Realizing that you have gifts that you need to use to help yourself, your family, your friends, and strangers is a priority. The Lord gave us our gifts to further his kingdom.

Keep in mind that life is never perfect, the things that aren't so perfect are the things that truly may become perfect, we just have to give them time.
I guess this is a good a time as ever to put up some  

PHOTOS of our darling little guy!

Brad and I recently got a new camera and we have learning how to use it- slowly.
Here are some shots of Jeremiah- and us- that I thought you would enjoy!

My ba-ba

Throwing rocks!

More Fish!

Look at mommy...

Look Daddy

DUCKS!

Tired eyes

Are we done yet?

Time for a nap

"Sun in face" face

Boys taking a walk

Snack time! Thanks Daddy!

Big boy in his Big boy chair

Cheese!

Hey!

What's THIS letter?

Deer in Headlights

Maggie came to play

Scream

Heart

Love

Froggy Friend

Yum!

Cute Feet

Wash those hands

Mommy and Me

All Smiles

Hi my name is Monica, and I'm a work-a-holic

We have been in Vegas for almost 2 years!!! Two more years left till we are up for pcs'ing. I'm praying it's only 2 more years anyways.

I'm debating on going back to work but I also want to go back to school but then again I love being home with my little man.

I've come to the conclusion that I will be going back to work part-time, going to school part-time (online only for now) and my son will be in daycare so he is able to socialize with other kids his age, since we haven't met very many people who I trust around here.

We just got a new Canon Rebel T3 this past week and we already have gotten quite a few nice photos just trying out the different settings.

I've always had a love for photography and art but never had the time to do it when working. Hopefully I can get back into it before school starts up.

Here are a few photos from our new camera, I had some fun editing a few of them...

He's such an adorable little guy. Even when he's tired and grumpy and is screaming all he really wants to do is cuddle up with mommy or daddy and have us read to him and snuggle on him till he falls asleep.

I have been painting and crafting like crazy ever since I started working on Jerm's room. I painted his room a serine ocean blue. It is very lovely and it makes me want to move into his room. We are not painting any other rooms for now. We aren’t sure how much longer we will be in this house so we don’t want to have to go and paint over every room in the house just so we can move out.

The house we moved into is quaint; we would never buy a house this small but for the time being it will do. Since moving into the house, we have started making a mental note of what we want in our forever home. The simplest things we thought would be okay to forget are now a need to have and necessary. 

For instance, I would like a house with a laundry upstairs rather than on the first floor. With all the laundry I already do adding another child or two in the future and having to lug all that up and down the stairs will not only be a pain but a hazard.
I also need a big happy kitchen.

Goodness I can't wait to move back home and start building our dream home!!! 5+ bedrooms, 3+ baths and a huge kitchen... man I better really work on that doctoral degree!!!

Well good friends and family, I bid you goodnight/good morning... (Ever wonder why goodnight is one word but not good morning?)

Our Gummy Bear- 1 day old

I went in to talk to a dr on base about ttc. I wanted to make sure that I was all go and talk about a VBAC.
She stated that they did indeed do VBACs on base and started talking about how if I went over 41 weeks I had to have a scheduled c-section.
 
I then said:
                               "What if I wait past then and don't come in?" 

She didn't respond.

A few moments later she told me that the doctors would feel much more comfortable if I had an epi. I proceeded to tell her that both the epi and the pitocin that they gave me last time both had negative effects on me and Jeremiah. And that I had gotten to 6cm without anything but the pitocin and I wanted to try again because it was my body and that's how I wanted to have my next child.

Once again... no comment other than asking how large Jeremiah was.

When I told her he was 10lbs 8oz 21in long I was proud! Telling her that I had gained close to 100lbs because of the stress of my husband being away, work, and many other factors. But that I wanted this next pregnancy to be different; weight control, I most likely won't be working, I know what the basics

She looked at me like I was crazy because I was insisting on going natural.
 
Then said.
"Well you make big babies... that means you will most likely need a c-section again because you only make big babies. You can try to push but I recommend you getting an epi so just in-case baby is too big we don't have to put you under. You know you can die from that right? I wouldn't want my child to motherless from the start."

Yeah I almost killed her! UGH!!!!

Mind you I have called a few midwifes and called my midwife/ob at the base I delivered at, and have gotten much info on this from many other sources. I feel very well informed. I have researched so much, the pros the cons, should I even try again?? All because he was 'too big'(actually they didn't let me dilate all the way... go dr!!!)

I know I'm not a dr. But in reality, women who have gone through a c-section have lost a battle. They are more likely to become depressed(like I did), have problems bonding with the newborn(I actually had problems 'believing' he was mine), have problems breast feeding if they choose to(I was in so much pain that it felt almost impossible to bf), have infections from unsanitary c-section(Oh look I had this too!), and so many more!!! Drs are made to do surgeries... hospital setting... etc.

I know I can do this. I know that everything was delayed because of the pitocin. Yes he was big. But I would have felt so much better if I went into labor on my own, to go all the way natural and try and push fully dilated. I'm not letting this happen again unless it is truly medically necessary.

Those who haven't gone through this or are old school don't understand. I want to feel what it's like to birth my child. To KNOW that child came from me.

I missed out.

I was lost for so long.

I longed to hold my son the moment he was born, to feed him, to care from him from day one.

Instead, I wasn't able to touch him for almost an hour, I had lost all sense of time of who I was, I couldn't breastfeed him because of the surgery and how much it hurt, and I could barely care for him with all the pain I was in.

It just sucks that I have to search for a dr who believes I can do and not be so down.

My husband wishes he was there because he would have spoken his mind. I guess we will just see if we can find someone else. Otherwise we aren't getting pregnant here in Vegas. We can wait till we move in 3 years. Till then we will enjoy the little love in our lives!!

My boy and I